


Stygian Darkness

by stacy_l



Series: Colopatiron [5]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Dark, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:30:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4923187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacy_l/pseuds/stacy_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally written in December 2006.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Stygian Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in December 2006.

**Daniel’s POV**

Night is my solace now, darkness, endless darkness, that stretches into infinity. I know he fears for me, and I know he’s seen the correlation. How could he not? How could one not notice that in blackness I’m calm, at peace but in brightness I’m nervous and anxious? I hated the dark when I was trapped there, hated and despised it, wanted out of it, wanted to see light again but now? Now…, “It was always dark there.” 

His voice comes to me tender, barely more than a whisper, “What? What Daniel?”

Swallowing my hesitation, my uncertainty, I open my mouth and begin to speak, “It was always dark there, Jack.”

“Dark…? Dark in…?”

“Mada’s dungeons, yes…”

His tone takes on a sharp edge of nervousness, uncertainty and hesitation as he puts voice to that which he desires to say, “How did you…? How…?”

“I hated it, Jack. I didn’t handle it well, not at first but I…I kind of got used to it.”

“Used to…”

“Yes.”

“Could you see…anything?”

“Hmm eventually yes, my eyes grew sharper, more accustomed, I could see the outline of my cell, but not in any sort of detail. I believe that was more of a blessing than a curse though, not being able to see the poor conditions I was kept in. I imagine the cell was quite filthy. I imagine I was quite filthy. I…I didn’t feel clean. I felt…” I shudder unable to continue that thought, that sentence.

Swallowing hard I squeeze my eyes shut hearing again in my mind, in my head, the ghosts of that horrid place and unconsciously put voice to my own thoughts, “I still hear them, Jack. They scream so loudly in my head, crying out for peace, for aid…for justice, the screams of the damned… Silence was a rare occurrence in there, for there was always someone somewhere in one of those other cells being tortured for no reason, someone who had been marked as part of the evening entertainment.”

I hear him draw in a sharp breath before he continues his questions, “Were…were you…?”

“I was tortured daily, Jack, not a day went by that I wasn’t visited by someone… Well, at least, I believe it was daily. I could never tell the difference between day and night there. Time lost all meaning. None of us knew how often we were visited. None of us knew how long we had been there, none of us, for we were all kept in an endless night. What we did know was that we were nothing, Jack. We were nothing. We were the lost, the forgotten, the abandoned, the immoral… We were the accursed, Jack. We were those considered to be inferior. We were the marked ones, those sequestered away from all others, those who belonged to Mada body and soul and if he couldn’t have us, if we refused to yield to him then we became his vanquished ones…those labeled as difficult, challenging, unbreakable and when you are marked as such you become amusement, a trinket for the guards to play with…”

Again I hear him draw in a sharp breath this time it’s shakier than the last and I know I will dread the next question. I swallow hard preparing myself as he quietly prods, “What did they do to you, Daniel? The guards, did they…?”

I close my eyes tightly again hesitating before licking my lips and clearing my throat. I don’t want to answer the question Jack has just posed to me, but I know I have to. In order to heal I have to be able to admit to some of the abuse I was exposed to so swallowing past the lump in my throat I quietly hiss an answer I know Jack will dread, “Yes, Jack, they did.”

“What…what did they…do, Daniel?”

“Hmm, mainly torture…”

“Like…?”

“Ordering me to beg for things, beating me for my refusal to beg, make me plead for water and food…um things like…like that.” 

“And…”

“I was condemned, Jack. I was a prisoner labeled as unworthy. I was one of Mada’s favored ones, but because I refused to surrender I was labeled as offensive and sentenced to live in and with my own filth. I was told that until I served willingly I would remain marked as repugnant and kept as such. We were all kept as such and the location of my cell dictated my ‘rank’ if you would among Mada’s prisoners.”

“And your…rank was?”

“The lowest rank, Jack, baseborn, low bred, insignificant…and all because I refused to surrender all to the demon monster god.”

“Ah Daniel…”

“I spent a long time in that cell, Jack, endless hours trying to think of ways to escape of ways to remain sane, of reasons to keep fighting, to keep surviving. I nearly gave up so many times. I was visited daily to be beaten and abused. I was told repeatedly that I was pathetic, that I was alone, that I was one of the fallen ones and that I would remain forever in Mada’s service. I was told that I’d remain in his dungeons until I rotted away, and I truly believed it. I had attempted escape so many times and was recaptured. When my last avenue of escape was cut off I had nothing left. There was no one coming for me. There would never be anybody coming for me so I was faced with a choice: to surrender all and become what Mada wanted or to keep fighting until I drew my last breath. I selected resistance and for that choice I was labeled as worthless and insignificant. It was at that time I was visited by the angel of death. I had given up, Jack. I had released my hold on sanity, on life and was ready to surrender all when she caught me and saved me. She refused to allow me to become lost. She refused and in so doing saved my life, saved my soul. She saved my soul Jack.”

**Author's Note:**

> Next Installment:
> 
> In Darkness Remain


End file.
